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A rabbits guide to humans & how to take control of them

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A simple guide to help bunnies everywhere to take control & train their humans & to get a few more treats too! It’s all about knowing what to look out for & how to behave!

Bad time keeping

If your human is late with your breakfast or dinner – throw all your noisy toys around your home & make a real mess too. They will soon come running, apologising continuously as they do so. Now give them the most disapproving look you can. Keep looking at them this way until they leave, even when you are eating. They will know that you are upset & this usually means you will get an extra treat. 

Silly restrictions on treats

Your human will restrict your treats to only a few per day. We know too many treats are bad for us bunnies, but to limit them to only 1 or 2 a day is just ridiculous!  Don’t fret, it is really easy to get more treats from your human. Just sit in front of them, stand up on your back legs, look super cute & stare at them. Keep in this position, keep staring and we guarantee they will give in. 

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House cleaning

Humans like to clean your home (which is great, because we know how we love a clean home), but don’t try to help them! This really annoys your human & you will be accused of being in the way, which is just rude, as you are only trying to help. You may also end up with the new bedding being thrown on top of you & they make out it was an accident & they didn’t see you there. Just rude!   

Rearranging the furniture

After your home has been cleaned, your human will insist on arranging your home the way they want it. Don’t think you have to put up with this. You have every right to change the layout of your home and the way it looks. Your human will not like it, & they may try to move things back again. You just change the layout to how you want it again & again and soon your human will eventually give in. Congratulate yourself, you won!

Kisses & cuddles

Humans love to kiss & cuddle us, which is fine, up to a point. The problem is they don’t know when to stop. Feel free to let them know when you have had enough and you wish to be left alone. Usually a gentle nip or a grunt gives them the message to stop. 

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Head rubs

Us bunnies love head rubs, but unlike the cuddles & kisses, humans always seem to stop head rubs far too soon. The secret is, when they stop with the head rubs, don’t move. Stay in the same position, head as flat to the floor as you can and wait. You won’t have to wait long before your human gives you more head rubs. Another great way of getting head rubs is as soon as your human puts their hand down on the floor, push your head into their hand quickly & lay flat to the floor – never fails!

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Play time

We love our playtime and humans really do love watching us enjoy ourselves, which is great. However, the humans feel it is up to them to make the decision when playtime is over. Don’t feel you have to oblige. Give them the runaround! Run off full speed, dodge them & do a jump & wiggle your bum as you go. This is lots of fun & the humans are useless at trying to stop us from doing this. This can add on an extra 15 – 20 mins to your exercise time, just don’t expect a treat afterwards!

Being inconsiderate

Humans sometimes forget that us rabbits are only small & they leave huge items in our way, like shoes and bags. The best way to get them moved is to throw them, if you can. Or go to nibble them & watch how quickly the humans will move them and never leave them in your way again. 

Feeding off their guilt 

We all have to go to the vet every now & then, but did you know that humans hate taking us, as much as we hate going. It makes them feel really guilty. So next time you go & visit the vet, be brave, as it is in our best interest to go, but afterwards you must sulk & ignore your human for a good few hours. You will get no end of head rubs, treats and maybe even new toys, even extra playtime. 

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Being noisy

Your human will sometimes forget to be quiet during the day, when you are sleeping. The best way to get them back is to make noise yourself when they are sleeping. Early hours of the morning is always best, between 4.30 & 6.30am, Perfect!

Happy flop phobias

We love to happy flop when we are content & relaxed, but be aware that sometimes you will be rudely awakened by your human standing over you, looking very worried & sometimes even prodding you. The reason is that apparently we look like we have died when we happy flop & humans panic & have to check that we are still breathing. Time to give them that disapproving look again, they will feel bad for waking you & an extra treat will be heading your way.